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Tea, Tea, TEA!!

I've been home 5 hours and I've had four mugs of tea. There was nothing in the 5 states I visited that even approached proper tea. I am revitalised and even keeping the jetlag at bay.

Other things we noticed in the US:
- bacon is a condiment;

- urinals are often separated by dividers to maintain ones dignity. However cubicle walls start much higher up and the toilets are much lower. This is not always a problem, except in the Westin, Indy, where the floor is polished black marble to the extent that when looking down you can see the reflected face of the guy sitting in the cubicle next to you. And should he stand up ... let's not go there. The lesson is to sit well back;

- I don't have nearly enough tattoos to live in the trendy parts of Atlanta. The indie chicks would mock my pasty white uncluttered skin, even with the cute accent;

- even if everything else is cheaper, delivery pizza costs the same as it does in the UK;

- God is a commodity;

- whereas the rest of the world classify Olympic success by gold medals, the US does it by total number of medals, to ensure that it doesn't come second to China. Is your self-image so frail America?

- find out where you can get good burritos and cultivate that place. Good burritos are mana from heaven;

- there are not 13 channels of shit on the TV to choose from. It's more like 60;

- but there's always something to watch, even if it's baseball or reruns of Fawlty Towers;

- baseball is a background noise over which the whole family eats chili dogs, baseball stats are discussed in a game of oneupmanship and beer is drunk;

- American children are amazingly well behaved, even when subjected to hours of baseball stats. Perhaps because they are subjected to hours of baseball stats;

- baseball is a microcosm of American society and all foreigners should see at least one game, preferably AAA or lower, to appreciate what a fine place America is and how most of them aren't George Bush;

- you can't take your own food and drink to the zoo, or the baseball, but as long as you have a permit, concealed handguns are fine. Although you probably shouldn't shoot the pandas, even if they are in season.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
karohemd
Aug. 26th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
*laughs at the toilet cubicle comment*

My fallback TV channel is the Food Network (or CMTV).
If all else fails, there's radio. Just a little twiddle and there will be a Classic Rock station somewhere. And when you lose one while driving, the next one isn't far up or down the scale.
gbsteve
Aug. 26th, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
We got classic rock most of the time although there was a while in Alabam where it was all Country or Gospel. It wasn't easy.
karohemd
Aug. 26th, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC)
Scary! Different parts of Alabama than I've been but I basically just cruised through and stayed one night in Birmingham.
w00hoo
Aug. 26th, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
A city which made the news recently when Birmingham, UK printed out a huge number of 'Aren't we great at recycling' leaflets without noticing that the cityscape on the front cover was Birmingham, Alabama. While the council of Birmingham, UK weren't willing to comment on PM, the Mayor of Birmingham, Alabama came on BBC radio and was a real star!
karohemd
Aug. 26th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
*nods* It was the cause of much mirth here but I hadn't heard that the mayor of the Alabama Birmingham was on the BBC.
heliograph
Aug. 26th, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC)
- bacon is a condiment;

In the south! But not along the right and left coasts. Alas.

- whereas the rest of the world classify Olympic success by gold medals, the US does it by total number of medals, to ensure that it doesn't come second to China. Is your self-image so frail America?

Yep!

- there are not 13 channels of shit on the TV to choose from. It's more like 60;

In hotels. Most cable packages run in the hundreds now.

- baseball is a microcosm of American society and all foreigners should see at least one game, preferably AAA or lower, to appreciate what a fine place America is and how most of them aren't George Bush;

Abosolutely!

- you can't take your own food and drink to the zoo, or the baseball, but as long as you have a permit, concealed handguns are fine. Although you probably shouldn't shoot the pandas, even if they are in season.

It is a little more complicated than that. You can't bring a handgun into Victory Field in Indy, for example, unless you have a certain kind of permit which isn't easy to get (generally speaking you have to be some kind of law enforcement). You can bring you own food onto that grassy area in the outfield: they even encourage it. That's why they had the no outside food sign INSIDE the park.

Pretty much anywhere you go with a bag search = no concealed carry.

gbsteve
Aug. 26th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
You're right, the baseball had a stricter policy on guns than the zoo. What I should have said was MARTA. You can take a concealed weapon on the Altanta local transport system but you'd get a ticket for a sandwich or a soda.
heliograph
Aug. 26th, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
This was also true in pre-Apocalypse New Orleans: you could bring your gun on the bus, but not your daquiri. The reason's pretty simple: the gun's easier to clean up after.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )