gbsteve (gbsteve) wrote,

Tea, Tea, TEA!!

I've been home 5 hours and I've had four mugs of tea. There was nothing in the 5 states I visited that even approached proper tea. I am revitalised and even keeping the jetlag at bay.

Other things we noticed in the US:
- bacon is a condiment;

- urinals are often separated by dividers to maintain ones dignity. However cubicle walls start much higher up and the toilets are much lower. This is not always a problem, except in the Westin, Indy, where the floor is polished black marble to the extent that when looking down you can see the reflected face of the guy sitting in the cubicle next to you. And should he stand up ... let's not go there. The lesson is to sit well back;

- I don't have nearly enough tattoos to live in the trendy parts of Atlanta. The indie chicks would mock my pasty white uncluttered skin, even with the cute accent;

- even if everything else is cheaper, delivery pizza costs the same as it does in the UK;

- God is a commodity;

- whereas the rest of the world classify Olympic success by gold medals, the US does it by total number of medals, to ensure that it doesn't come second to China. Is your self-image so frail America?

- find out where you can get good burritos and cultivate that place. Good burritos are mana from heaven;

- there are not 13 channels of shit on the TV to choose from. It's more like 60;

- but there's always something to watch, even if it's baseball or reruns of Fawlty Towers;

- baseball is a background noise over which the whole family eats chili dogs, baseball stats are discussed in a game of oneupmanship and beer is drunk;

- American children are amazingly well behaved, even when subjected to hours of baseball stats. Perhaps because they are subjected to hours of baseball stats;

- baseball is a microcosm of American society and all foreigners should see at least one game, preferably AAA or lower, to appreciate what a fine place America is and how most of them aren't George Bush;

- you can't take your own food and drink to the zoo, or the baseball, but as long as you have a permit, concealed handguns are fine. Although you probably shouldn't shoot the pandas, even if they are in season.

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