December 13th, 2005

Give me rock or give me death

It's the old cycle

I think stress at work is causing me to sleep less, which in turn makes me more tired and less able to do my work. This of course leads to more stress. And so it goes.

I'd not thought that I was particularly prone to stress before but I think it's having an effect now. In any case, more sleep is not really the answer, less stress is.

I'll talk to my manager about it when next we meet, Monday I think it is. He has been supportive but only in a lame non-committal kind of way, which has left me in a bit of a no man's land over reorganisation and the direction of my team's work.

Since I took this job over in January I think there has only been a 3 week period in which I was fully staffed. Now I'm down two out of five, have been turned down permission to recruit one and am still waiting for permission to recruit another. Which would be fine, but I've got customers who expect work to be delivered and I'm not able to tell when, and even if, I can get it done.

This all seems to be down to the size of senior managers' empires, which is what happens in the Civil Service. I'd just not been exposed to it before and so wasn't really armed to deal with it. Next time I'll know. Although, the best strategy, sucking up, isn't really in my armoury. Is integrity overrated, or is it undervalued?