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Pushing every button

I just got this glorious piece of spam:

HELLO DEAR,

GREETING IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.

I AM MRS ROSE MARY COLLINS,A WIDOW TO LATE TOM COLLINS I AM 55 YEARS OLD, I AM NOW A NEW CHRISTAIN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST,FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WONT LIVE MORE THAN 2 MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS, THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE.
MY LATE HUSBAND KILLED DURING THE U.S. RAID AGAINST TERRORISM IN AFGHANISTAN,AND DURING THE PERIOD OF OUR MARRIAGE WE COULDNT PRODUCE ANY CHILD.MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH.

...

Childless, dying of cancer, widowed by terrorists, has seen the light, what have they left out? Perhaps something about being nice to kittens? Still, not bad going.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
timgray
Jan. 22nd, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC)
Illiterate and unable to afford a working keyboard?
karohemd
Jan. 22nd, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Sorry about that, I had a smudge on my screen that made your n look like an h. I feel really stupid now...
actualsean
Jan. 22nd, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)
I kill her.
heliograph
Jan. 23rd, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
Drink inventor?
undyingking
Jan. 23rd, 2009 10:03 am (UTC)
The drink was named after a famous (at the time) non-existent hoax person, so it seems eerily appropriate.
simonjrogers
Jan. 23rd, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
She hasn't mastered the apostrophe. Serves her right.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )