ALBUQUERQUE* - This morning scientists at the University of New Mexico proved that milk makes coffee cooler and paler. In research soon to be published in Nature, Prof Gizmo Humpeldinck confirmed that the field of putting milk onto things to see what happens is an exciting new area of research for SCIENCE. Humpeldinck expects to soon have a General Theory of Milk that will capture in one simple equation what happens when you put milk on stuff.
Anyway, MIT scientists have found that batteries charge slowly because the electricity has to queue to get in. Their new batteries, with a better door policy, charge 20 times faster and are lighter.
The trouble with this kind of technological advance is that it usually leads not to better use of current resources but the development of fairly pointless new uses that use more resources than might have otherwise been saved. However, if it means I can have a personal jetpack, that's OK.
*We did once make a wrong turn in Alburquerque. We were looking for the zoo and ended up on a housing estate, which was lucky because we could have ended up at the South Pole or anywhere.