The back of the Oldsmobile swung round as we hit the tarmac, the tyres screeched sending a shower of dust and gravel onto the forecourt of the Desert Diner. We were on the road again. As we accelerated up the highway, I turned round and saw out of the back window, one small figure standing in the road with his arm raised, before he was knocked flying by the 16 wheeler he stepped out in front of.
'Don't swear.' said Mary, curtly. 'Jesus don't like it when we use His name in vain.'
'What does Jesus say about carjacking?' I asked.
'Don't say nothin' 'bout cars in the good book, so I reckon we're just fine.'
Suddenly Mary yanked the wheel right and we veered off down a side road. There was a sign that said Elephant Butte.
Mary saw the look on my face and just as I was about to comment she said, 'Don't you dare. No call for that.' The way she said 'dare' it seemed to have about 6 vowels in it. But I took the hint.
'They pro'ably callin' the cops on us now so we gotta keep off the main roads. And besides,' she continued, with a huge grin on her face, 'I wanna see if there's a match between your face and an Elephant's butt.'
I stuck my tongue out and then gave her a big sloppy kiss on the side of the face.
'Jesus!' she said, and then, 'Now look what you gone and made me done, I gotta say six Hail Marys now.'
She pulled up to the side of the road and stopped the car. She picked up bag off the floor, it was purple suede with straggley bits hanging off the strap and bottom of the bag.
'Are you doing that now?' I asked.
'Too right. I don't wanna go to Hell on account of a missaid word. I gotta put things right.'
'Well, d- ...' I started and she snapped me a look, dark eyes, rimmed with black, long dark bangs and red lipstick, all of it saying 'Don't you dare', I didn't. Instead I got out of the car and left her to her devotions. The land was scrubby and brown although in the late Autumn sun it was starting to get chilly. We were on the side of a big rolling hill and down below us stretching as far as I could see north and south was a big lake. With the sun behind me, it looked like a massive black tarmac landing strip, a welcome sign for all aliens be they little green men or, like myself, English.
'Y'all just gonna stand there like some retard?' said Mary.
'I guess not,' I replied and got back in the car.
'See'd any elephants?' she asked when we were back in motion.
'Nope. Just a big lake.'