Or perhaps Resolving the dialectic, thesis + antithesis = goal!

"Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad! Socrates scores, got a beautiful cross from Archimedes. The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant, via the categorical imperative, is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside."

Philosophers football is no longer just a Python sketch.