These creatures learnt English from using Alta Vista to translate from Japanese so they speak like this:
Cripes selfishly the being completed tree
Furthermore the ほ you stack
In addition don't you think? tomorrow (^ - ^)
# Different from the Goto maniac even with the hell board the maniac board (?)
So it is completed cripes and how does not say (laughing)
They can be found hanging around cemeteries misquoting T.S. Eliot but you can only see them if you don't look directly at them, or sometimes in the centre of steamed Char Sui buns.
Their most fearsome attack rearranges the molecules in your clothing so that you are dressed the most inappropriately possible.
They send messages of hope ("you will soon get a refund from the gas board") to the desperate using fortune cookies but these predictions never turn out quite right.
In appearance, they usually wear yellow, and shoes, big shoes with crepe souls. Oh the shoes! Never has there been more wonderful shoes.
The fortune cookie was one I'd actually received and today it came true.