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Don't strain your brain, paint a train

Why didn't anyone tell me about this goldmine of nuttiness? I thought it was a wind-up but it appears to be kosher (if I can really say that about it). It purports to give a measure of how the likeliness of the Rapture occuring, i.e. when all the religious right bodily disappear and leave the rest of us to get on with life.

Can someone explain why that's a bad deal for me?

The scores are rated thus:
Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts

At the moment the index is at 158 so grab your bibles and start praying.

And I like this entry:
Mark of the Beast: The U.S. Patriot Act has failed to get enough votes for extension.

And this one:
12 Drug abuse: Drug use in teens declines by 11 percent

So drug abuse in teens is a good thing because it will help bring on the Rapture? Which is why social budgets should be cut because those good for nothing godless pinko bastards are, by helping people, helping to prevent the rapture. Is that right?


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 31st, 2006 02:24 am (UTC)
Aren't the righteous, in this kind of we're-really-reaching-when-we-claim-this-is-from-Revelation theory, supposed to fly up into the air before disappearing? As such, it might be a bad idea to "fasten your seat belts".
Oct. 31st, 2006 12:00 pm (UTC)
So those car safety junkies really are in Satan's employ, wanting to hold back the righteous from their due!

I hope the four minute warning also tells people to loosen their belts.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )